I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
