this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
