And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
