Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
