When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
