we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
