my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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