Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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