Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
