My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
