so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you traded sex for a burrito?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
