It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
