haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
