College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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