walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
