I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you win again, gameday.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
