there's paper in my vomit.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
