im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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