needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
