Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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