HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
