I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize