please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
