Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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