the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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