Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
