How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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