There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
