I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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