I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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