I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
