i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The feeling are messing with the penis
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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