Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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