Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
