my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize