Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You ate ashes out of my bong
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
