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• (217): View more from Illinois

  i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones

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• (516): View more from New York

  We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.

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• (684): View more from American Samoa

  Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags

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