She just used a chaser for red wine.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
