You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
