lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
