my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
being pregnant is like rehab
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
