So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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