i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
