The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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