i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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