Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
