dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
