I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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