i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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