dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
