i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
