come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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