i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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