I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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