How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
