Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
