He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Damn victory sex feels great
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
