What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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