it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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