I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
