North Korea, Best Korea!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
