My Higher Power is John Stamos
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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