Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
